July 5th - I survived the Independence Day Craze

Yesterday was the the 4th of July. My husband worked so the kiddos and I went to a family/church friends picnic at the private pond we belong to. It was really fun - I even ate WELL. Most the time I think we give ourselves permission to eat away like crazy when there is a party. We dont want to feel left out. I am proud of what I chose to eat. Just a few bites (like three, enough to LOVE the flavor) of pasta salad and potato salad, then I had some grilled chicken and a bite of my daughters hamburger. My son and I shared an ice cream sandwich and if you know anything about kids - mom only gets MAYBE a half - well my one-year-old pretty much mutilated it so about a third was all this momma ate - which I am okay with! Had steak with my in-laws for dinner and ate only that and lots of fruit. I think the important thing is to never deny yourself anything, just watch your portions - be selective about what you want to waste your calories on.

I was looking at tuesday's post with my three pictures. I know to a viewer they may not seem like much but it's really exciting to go to the gym and attend a class and outdo the skinny girl next to you (and all the while you are wondering - why are you here? :) ) or to finish a class that started out so hard for you!

I see all these little victories and I think that even though the results are small - they are mine and I didnt accomplish them with a wrap or a pill or a crash diet. (I do have to say the wraps do work, buts its VERY temporary.. Very) I did it with hard work. When I started my journey last August, I wasn't very serious about it. It wasnt until about March when I put my butt in gear and even though I still weight 207 lbs. - I have dropped two pant sizes, completed a 5k and dropped 17 lbs. I want to do so much more. This summer I have swam with my kids, in a bathing suite - in front of my closest friends - which I haven't done for a few years now. Its the little victories that make me feel accomplished.

July 16th keeps creeping closer. I have to order my challenge kit tonight. I'm nervous. I have not really pushed myself to my max. I think sometimes I give 80%... maybe 90% while I am at the gym and then I feel guilty about it so I go back later in the night, when no one is there (I don't want people to see me run in all my jiggly glory) and I run and push the ab workouts and the weights. (Still, I am not sure if it is only another 90%)

I think that with Cory as my coach and the other challenge mates, I will have to push myself to the 110%. I will have something to prove, someone to help me and a goal. I am not sure what my expectations should be for this challenge. 20lb loss? Another pant size down? Two? I know I am committed to Turbo Jam and to ChaLean Extreme from July 16- August 16. A full month. I can do it. I just might cry and hurt a little, right?

I have tried Turbo Jam before... but not ChaLEAN Extreme... I have heard and read countless people's testimonies about how well the latter has worked for them. Dropping 80 or more lbs. I need this. I want to "bring sexy back."

It is going to be hard. I am aware. I am going to complain - most likely on here :) I think it is so true though - it is so much easier to do when you want it for YOU. You cant do it for anyone else. You'll get mad and frustrated and quit. As much as I want to be a MILF or a Hot Wife... I want to be healthy and be a good example for my kids. That's it. Being about 80-90 lbs over weight is so dangerous.

I weigh TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS
My body is only supposed to weight ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY - ONE THIRTY MAX

Truly, I am amazed my knees to hurt, my feet don't hurt and that I am even able to attempt a 5k. So here's to one more week before I start my official challenge and here's to making changes now. I suppose July is as good as January to make resolutions or goals.

-Kayla-