part of the club

Like many other people, on Tuesday nights i love to watch Extreme Weight-loss on ABC. This past Tuesday I watched a man lose 180 pounds and he still didn't qualify for skin removal surgery and what he said has stuck with me since. He said, "I feel like I got kicked out of a club that I never really belonged to."

Fitness is not a once size fits all. It's not a one way fits all. It is surely not exclusive and we would all be better off with it.

To the man in that show, despite how you feel with your accomplishments but not hitting your goals, you belong. To the woman who is a celebrity trainer and helps millions, you belong. To the dad who works out after work, you belong and to the woman who is just beginning her journey by walking her dog - you belong.

This club has the ability to feel exclusive. It has the availability to be harsh and mean and discouraging. I am here to tell you, get with the right people.

I remember when I started Turbo Kick and everyone in there was so fast, and so slim, and could follow cues and I would think, "what am I doing here?!" And I didnt reach out for help and I didnt reach out for friends and I remember hearing that the instructor was part of a fit girls clique. I remember feeling sad and frustrated!

I refuse to let anyone feel that way. It is not okay to make someone feel bad for wanting to be better than they were the day, or month, or week, or year, or hour before!

Today I felt the nearly 200 pounds of my body holding me back. I did my fave class Turbo Kick and then I did a hardcore kickboxing class at another gym. And in both instances, my fat got in the way. (please don't say I am not fat. I am, but I have learned it doesnt define me) As luck would have it, during the kickboxing class, I was paired up with the wife of another instructor - who had badass-ery mastered. She was amazing. She was pregnant and still kicking butt! She could have taken one look at me and said, NOOO THANKS. But she too believes that the fitness club is all inclusive. She helped me perfect my stance, reach further with my strikes and punches and she cheered me on - and I tried my best to do the same for her.

So chin up all you people who are trying your best to be the best you. Who are trying your best to get weight under control, to manage stress through fitness, who are trying to perfect that shoulder and round that bum - we all have different goals but we need to be inclusive. We need to invite people to be healthy and we need to encourage them to keep trying, keep perfecting, and STOP giving up!

You ARE part of that club.

obsessive

honesty is the best policy, right!?

i hate food. i hate exercise and i hate fitness. and its only cause i LOVE it. i get totally consumed by it. its my empowerment and my kryptonite .

i get obsessive with calories, with workouts and with what goes into my mouth. one time it got so out of hand i sat in my kitchen and i cried. im in a kitchen full of healthy food and i was afraid to eat. even last night, i was so upset that i treated myself to thin crust pizza with my kids. they should know there is a healthy balance to everything, but i just beat myself up all night about it. i didnt even have a soda, just water, and only four small squares. weird. i know. and to my kids, im sorry.

my husband doesnt understand it but he tries. i know it stems with some eating issues as a teen and a body issue that comes from being told your over weight by family members your whole life. being asked if you want to be fat, being told you look just like their fat selves -- it all adds up in a growing psyche.

point of this point, as much as i love to build people up, i struggle too! i am just like you. i have my own battles with weight from being depressed and gaining too much weight to losing weight and once i see change, i get so worried and consumed about what i am consuming and how many calories i am burning.

i am working every day on finding a balance, i am here to help you do the same. together we can conquer any problem. together, as a group of healthy, fit friends, we will succeed in our goals and feel proud - if we do it together!

Happy Saturday!

lets be real

today i had yet another encounter with someone who supposedly supports me but has fallen through for me. i relied on someone to be with my kids so i could attend a workout at a new place that i want to join, unfortunately when six o clock rolled around, they were no where to be found. in fact, they were over a half hour away and ignored the previous call that was to remind them about an hour prior to when i needed them.

no one is looking out for you
no one will be what you need them to be 100%
sure they will give encouragement
sure they will cheer you on
BUT
unless you are willing to only rely on your own motivation and your own drive, you will get no where. other people can only take you so far. until you want it with everything you got - people like the above will just be another road block and excuse and will stop you from reaching your goals.

make a list of why you want your new body.
your new job
your new car
your new friends
your new lifestyle
your new mentality
your new outlook on life

study that list EVERY. DAY. Then work your ass off for it and it may take some jumping, some maneuvering and some crawling and maybe even some crying - but damn it. as long as you want it as much as you breathe. you will get there.