Friday!!

So - yesterday there were some crazy storms in my neck of the woods. Seriously, it looks like tornados went down very narrow streets and just trimmed up all the trees... and destroyed some fences, siding, and roofing. Really, it was just some bad high winds but a good amount of people here are still without power and have lots of clean up to do. This is my excuse as to why I did NOT make it to the gym yesterday.
(Really, its a good one. I didnt have a car, my husband had it and was caught in the storm and then horrible traffic - so I missed my class.)
Any who - I decided I would make today count since I missed yesterday. I did a Zumba class and a Dance Party class, ran a mile and did the elliptical for about 15 minutes. My butt hurts. It's funny because these girls who teach the classes are very sweet - and very skinny. Class was not so busy so I felt like more people could look at me and I got kind of self concious. While doing zumba this image came to mind - made me smile cause on this particular morning, it felt REALLY true

I mean dont we all think we are Jessica Alba dancing in the rain when we dance to "Im sexy and I know it" or how about when we dance to "My hips don't lie"? Really I feel like majority of us are an uncoordinated mess and that is okay. I mean really, the idea is to keep moving until we come enough to learn the step and lose the weight to look doing it, right?

So then later in the afternoon, I decide its time to go back to the gym - the kids were sleeping and the husband was on the Xbox, I really had no excuse. So I go and I was feeling SUPER tired. Well after a few of my favorite dances that make me feel like I can do some bad ass moves I notice in the mirror I am sweating in all the wrong places. Think Fergy -

Yep. FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC. Here I am thinking Im Jessica Alba and I am sweating like Miss Piggy. Yuck - but at least I knew I worked hard.

The point I am getting to is this - You may look weird or silly when you first start out but keep doing it. Eventually I will have Jessica Alba's abs and I will have the confiedence to rock out like Fergy while rocking the sweaty pee looking spot :)

Really, I dont care what I look like to anyone else, anymore. I strutted around being a 227 lb girl thinking I was the shit because my husband made me feel like I was the best thing since sliced bread and tries to build my confidence and my friends dont care what I look like. So now that I want to look better. live healthier and rock some cute clothes, I think how can working out make me look worse than that 227 lb woman who thought she was all that to begin with. She was just not all that healthy.

Here's to an active weekend! 

-Kayla-

July 5th - I survived the Independence Day Craze

Yesterday was the the 4th of July. My husband worked so the kiddos and I went to a family/church friends picnic at the private pond we belong to. It was really fun - I even ate WELL. Most the time I think we give ourselves permission to eat away like crazy when there is a party. We dont want to feel left out. I am proud of what I chose to eat. Just a few bites (like three, enough to LOVE the flavor) of pasta salad and potato salad, then I had some grilled chicken and a bite of my daughters hamburger. My son and I shared an ice cream sandwich and if you know anything about kids - mom only gets MAYBE a half - well my one-year-old pretty much mutilated it so about a third was all this momma ate - which I am okay with! Had steak with my in-laws for dinner and ate only that and lots of fruit. I think the important thing is to never deny yourself anything, just watch your portions - be selective about what you want to waste your calories on.

I was looking at tuesday's post with my three pictures. I know to a viewer they may not seem like much but it's really exciting to go to the gym and attend a class and outdo the skinny girl next to you (and all the while you are wondering - why are you here? :) ) or to finish a class that started out so hard for you!

I see all these little victories and I think that even though the results are small - they are mine and I didnt accomplish them with a wrap or a pill or a crash diet. (I do have to say the wraps do work, buts its VERY temporary.. Very) I did it with hard work. When I started my journey last August, I wasn't very serious about it. It wasnt until about March when I put my butt in gear and even though I still weight 207 lbs. - I have dropped two pant sizes, completed a 5k and dropped 17 lbs. I want to do so much more. This summer I have swam with my kids, in a bathing suite - in front of my closest friends - which I haven't done for a few years now. Its the little victories that make me feel accomplished.

July 16th keeps creeping closer. I have to order my challenge kit tonight. I'm nervous. I have not really pushed myself to my max. I think sometimes I give 80%... maybe 90% while I am at the gym and then I feel guilty about it so I go back later in the night, when no one is there (I don't want people to see me run in all my jiggly glory) and I run and push the ab workouts and the weights. (Still, I am not sure if it is only another 90%)

I think that with Cory as my coach and the other challenge mates, I will have to push myself to the 110%. I will have something to prove, someone to help me and a goal. I am not sure what my expectations should be for this challenge. 20lb loss? Another pant size down? Two? I know I am committed to Turbo Jam and to ChaLean Extreme from July 16- August 16. A full month. I can do it. I just might cry and hurt a little, right?

I have tried Turbo Jam before... but not ChaLEAN Extreme... I have heard and read countless people's testimonies about how well the latter has worked for them. Dropping 80 or more lbs. I need this. I want to "bring sexy back."

It is going to be hard. I am aware. I am going to complain - most likely on here :) I think it is so true though - it is so much easier to do when you want it for YOU. You cant do it for anyone else. You'll get mad and frustrated and quit. As much as I want to be a MILF or a Hot Wife... I want to be healthy and be a good example for my kids. That's it. Being about 80-90 lbs over weight is so dangerous.

I weigh TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS
My body is only supposed to weight ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY - ONE THIRTY MAX

Truly, I am amazed my knees to hurt, my feet don't hurt and that I am even able to attempt a 5k. So here's to one more week before I start my official challenge and here's to making changes now. I suppose July is as good as January to make resolutions or goals.

-Kayla-

day two - completed!

The picture goes in order of most recent. there is a slight loss you can see but the skin kinda hanging there, almost makes me just want to stay FAT!

So Sunday night I committed to go on a 30 day challenge with Cory Miller- a beach body coach. The challenge itself doesnt start until the 16th, but I think its just silly to wait. So yesterday I went swimming, did a dance party class and did some elliptical work. Today I did another dance party class - this time with a different instructor. I think today was "work off your belly and butt" day. It didn't help that I was already sore from yesterday's work outs. I have decided to add another picture of my current what I look like.
 (again, biggest loser style.. sorry.. the truth hurts..... and it motivates)

Today was the first day I looked at myself while working out and felt gross. I don't know if its because I am making myself acutely aware of how my body is or what. At any rate, I have decided to add night time work outs - lucky for me, my gym is open 24/7 :)