New Year.. New Goals

Happy New Year!
Every year we have the same goals and the same ambition for about two weeks and then we fizzle out. At least I do. So this year I decided (again) this year is MY year. You know why it's different for me this time? Because I have an awesome husband who is supporting me. I have two aunt-in-laws who are on the same journeys and I have friends who want me to succeed. I have begun to do it for ME and not for anyone else. Let's recap the last few "new years resolution" failures...

Lose weight to look hot for my husband
Lose weight for my kids
Lose weight to wear skinnier jeans
Lose weight because so and so is and I am in a private competition with them... they don't know it though!

All of these things have included "for" and ended with... not me. Call me selfish or call me lazy because all of these reasons are good, legit reasons; and, I am sure great motivation for some people. For me, however, they are not. I mean I want my husband to want to show me off and I want to be healthy to be active and play around my kids more and who doesn't want to rock a pair of kick ass jeans? I do! I DO! But being in competition with someone is stupid and the minute one of the former things happens to piss you off or frustrate you - you are done! Once that one birthday cake is in your face.. these reasons didn't stop me from eating it. Here is my reason for wanting to finally be healthy...

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE SKINNY STICK GIRL. I WANT TO BE A FIT CHICK. MY HUSBAND ALREADY LOVES ME! I don't have anything to prove to anyone else! I cannot and will not compare my journey to anyone. I want to do it for me! I am not comfortable anymore with myself. For the first time I do not feel like the skinny girl who is trapped in the fat chicks body.

Since July I have been on my true, focused journey and I have grown so close to my husband. My kids want to work out with me. We are going outside to play at local parks and I have made so many new friends who are like minded and support me in all my running and work out endeavours. I joined a business that doesn't push sales, they push healthy attitudes and helping people! I like sharing my results, my set backs and my goals and during my lifestyle transformation I have started 6 months ago. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of being over weight because I know where I was and how far I have come. I have reconnected with another good friend, Christina.

Not trying to toot my own horn here, but I am pretty darn proud of what the last 6-8 months have brought me!

Ran my first 5k - Glass City
Ran in the Color Run
Ran in the Survival Race (mud run)
Ran in the YMCA 5k
I dropped my mile run by 6 minutes
I lost 16 inches and 37 lbs from my heaviest starting weight
I went from a size 18/20 to a 12/14
I helped people weight totaling over 100 lbs. and over 20 inches

Not too shabby for only about 7 months time. Here's the thing, I now know I am capable of MORE. I can do BETTER! My mind, body, and soul are continually being conditioned with a positive attitude that tells me to do MORE - be BETTER... and yours should be too! So here are my newest goals or if your will, resolutions:

Fitness:
Run in the Glass City Half Marathon in April and just aim for a finish
Run in the Detroit area Tough Mudder in June/July
Finish in this order CheLEAN Extreme, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire and begin to attempt Insanity
Be in a comfortable size that makes ME feel good
Home:
Be more organized for my kids
Take a dance class
Audition for a few musicals
Continue in my Beachbody Business and advance in rank - earning John and I all the FREE vacations I can to enjoy that husband of mine more - one on one

What are your resolutions? What's your motivation behind it? What is going to keep you on the wagon when you feel like falling off? If you are reading this, I do have a favor to ask - please keep me accountable with my journey. I am here to help you too - I am only but an email away! 2012 ended with a great beginning for me and now I know 2013 is my year!

-Kayla-

a new challenge you say?

So, as most of you know, I am a beachbody coach. (no I am not trying to sell you anything, this is just important to know for the story about my crazy night with my husband) I want to do the Ultimate Reset - a detoxing, ph balancing, taking you down to  vegan diet to reset your body, 21 day program. It is kind of a pricey program, but well worth it. My husband, the forever skeptic, tells me this morning that he has thought about it, and if I work out for two hours a day and drink one Shakeology a day. Not hard, just have to increase the workout time. I can do this! No problem. We start the reset on November 26 and will end just before Christmas. It will be good accountability.

So as my night continues, I go over homework with my daughter, get her backpack ready and settle down to watch my fave show, Once Upon a Time. My husband says, are you going to workout? I say yes and shortly after Revenge starts, I get my shoes on and put on Turbo Jam. John, ever so sweetly goes into the kitchen and puts dinner away and then I smell something... something with grease. I asked him if he ate something and I get told no. Apparently I asked the wrong question because he later fesses up he cooked something - left over pizza. Left over really meaty greasey pizza. So while I am kicking, punching, jabbing and getting my jenga on, John is eating two pieces of Ginos pizza. He then begins with the comments, reach higher, kick harder, stop doing low impact... yadda yadda yadda...

I started teasing him about his eating habits and then comes a challenge... challenge number 2! My big stinking mouth says, "I bet I can lose 20 lbs before you can!" Crap. This man can just think diet and loses 15 lbs. I know this because during my July challenge, he did! So here goes nothing. I am on another challenge. My goal is to do it before I even start my reset and really stick it to him and his fatty food eating, beer drinking self! I love you John, but this means war!

-Kayla-

Stumble

So - This past month has been a bust for me. I have gained weight back and with the crazyness of this life, it has been easy to once again put myself on the back burner. Ladies (gentlemen too), why do we do that? Why do we as women put ourselves last? Is it the whole nuture versus nature, or is it because our nature is to nuture... everyone but ourselves?

I am really good at this, getting on the band wagon and then falling off! So because I want this time to be so much more different then every other time I had yoyo'd my weight, I am determined to find out WHY my commitment comes and goes - except I dont think it comes and goes, I think I just allow myself to be on the back burner.

There are obvious reasons why we put ourselves last
1. Kids
2. Spouses
3. Prior Commitments
4. Our Jobs
5. House Work
6. Family Matters
... and the list can go on and on

As I was thinking about this list I was still thinking to myself that my reasons to keep going have got to be bigger than this! They are, my kids deserve a mom and dad who are healthy and happy and they have one of those - unfortuneately for them, its their dad and he is the bread winner of the family so he is not the one who is always there and they get me, the woman with a body complex. Have I passed that on to them? Do they worry about their weight? The size of their clothes? Does my first grader compare herself to the other girls in her class and feel bigger? Does she know that she is on the charts perfect and in the eyes of her momma perfect? My three year old is perfect. My 16 month old is the silliest kid I have ever met and the three of them are the biggest gift from God I have ever recieved.

How did I get this way? Kids don't grow up comparing themselves to other kids unless its about how fast, what toy they have, what vacation they went on for spring break. You get the occasional bully on the playground who calls you fat, points out the zit - but we all know its that person too who has the insecurities that are taught.

Gosh, you know, I was going to tell you about my childhood and how things transpired that maybe led me to where I am, but the more I think about it the more I feel like its an excuse. I mean I do believe you are taught selfimage, and I had some unfortunate things lead me to believe I was fat and it was a horrible thing but YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST! I AM NOT MY PAST!

So here I am, needing to get back on board with my journey. Thankfully I haven't gained it all back, but a gain in itself is frustrating to me. I have worked too hard to go back! (I have bought too many smaller pairs of jeans too!) I need to keep journaling, keep working and inspiring myself and others. If I can do this, so you can.

Im back BABY!