Working out for.. my marriage?

There are so many reasons we work out.

To impress someone
To lose weight
To get better confidence
To train for an event
To tone and tighten up
To help your marriage

While it is a no brainer on why working out makes a marriage better - today my husband told me some info that caught me off guard a little bit. He said I was a happier person on the days when I work out. I was kind of surprised by this announcement. I always try to be nice to my family. I never wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning and think "I'm going to go out of my way to be nasty today - especially in my marriage."

It's kinda interesting though - working out it has been quite an experience for my husband, John, and I. I think I shared a little before, but I was really thin when I started dating John, even after I had my first daughter, things came back to where they were supposed to be! Over six years and two more kids, I don't know what did it or when it REALLY happened, but I had gained over 60 lbs. I was embarrassed to share how much I weighed or the size of my clothes. I began a long fad of yo yo dieting and working out and before I knew it, my closet was filled with fat girl clothes.

One day I went through my closet to make space for new things and I had to get rid of old clothes that didn't fit anymore. It was kinda of heart breaking. Then I decided I didn't care if I was over weight. I would rather do fun things with my family and be fat and happy! I didn't REALLY feel that way, but it was a better way of dealing with it than the hard work I knew I would have to put in to really be that person I felt like but clearly didn't look like.

At one point in our marriage, it was very rocky too! I mean I think we all have gone through our chapter in marriage where things are looking grim, where you aren't sure what is going to happen in the next few weeks but you know it can make or break your marriage! During that time I tried really hard to lose weight. I had two reasons, I wanted to be irresistible to him and if we didn't stay together, I wanted him to miss what he had. Let me tell you - THOSE ARE STUPID REASONS! I did get results, but they didn't last. It didn't last because it was for the wrong reasons. Losing weight will not solve you marriage's issues. That takes communication.

In August, I wanted to lose weight. My oldest daughter started school and since I have to take and pick her up, I had no excuses why I couldn't get right to the gym. So I started going on a regular basis. I think that since I wanted this for ME  it worked! And because I wanted this for me, my husband was so supportive and that opened up the doors of communication in a part of my life that I never wanted to share with him. You should want to share every aspect of your life with your LIFE partner.

On my list of goals, I never wrote "I want better communication with my Husband. I want him to know how much I hate being over weight and how much I want to be better at my life, starting with my health!" But that's where I am now. I am noticing that since I can tell him I am a fatty mcfat fat and I can SEE that he doesn't care and loves me anyway and supports me in my journey - I can tell him ANYTHING - even about the pair of shoes or new workout pants I have bought :)

I guess John's comment today really made me reflect on how much more working out and getting healthy is for me and our marriage. More than a size goal, a weight goal or a timed race goal - it's really creating a whole new part of life for us - and I kinda like it!

-Kayla-

OMG - WEEK FOUR!

When I began writing this blog, it was about 2 weeks prior to my challenge. I cannot believe today (Monday) kicked off the beginning of week 4! I officially only have 10 days left. This to me is insane.
I have decided to add some updated pictures. I am feeling a lot stronger, but to be honest - I am not seeing anything great with my looks. Maybe its because It is ME and I don't notice it. I have gotten some compliments, but I am really ready to see it all just fall off - literally, just all the weight fall off!



first set of pictures. grey and blue hot MESS is the earliest working to the left for the newest (at that time)

at the beginning of the challenge







week 2ish

So there is my photo journey. I do see changes. Not like what I WANT to see, but I did that in 20 days, so lets see what can happen in the next 10!!!

-Kayla-

Hurt Feelings

When a child says something horrifically truthful but not always PC - we like to say "Out of the mouths of babes" BUT really, it can be hurtful.

Today while working out my daughter had informed me I looked weird. A few days ago she informed me I looked like a Chinese Dancer. I have no clue what that meant, but she thought she was making a joke. I shrugged it off. But today - today after she informed me I looked "weird" she took it a step further to close our blinds. I asked her what are you doing? She replied to me that I was embarrassing her. Ouch!

Throughout my journey, I was hoping to make my habits be an inspiration to her or make her have a drive to want to be physically active as well! I wanted her to know that being fit was a good thing and to do the whole "monkey see - monkey do" thing. Today stung. It almost shook me to be embarrassed to do it in front of her. I actually sent her to her room cause she really hurt my feelings. It was weird to be slightly wounded by a five-year-old's words. We had been through the "I want a new mom" stage and "I don't like you." I didn't care about any of those things. I knew she didn't really mean it and that it was because that occasion didn't pan out the way she had wanted. This time was different. I think maybe I want her to be proud of her mom.

I finished the work out and she came out of the room and did the ab part of it with me, but still as I reflect I want to know why did that bother me so much? If I didnt care if the neighbors saw me doing kick boxing, why on earth should she. Have I not given her confidence? Is she lacking in the extravert catagory?

I will continue doing my workouts and maybe as time goes on, she will be more proud and less embarrassed of me. Either way, this girl is not done with her fat girl shred!

-Kayla-